Schaden'fraud'

Lately I had been feeling consumed by a wave of Schadenfreude and this was unnerving me because it made me feel evil. Besides, it's hard to justify to yourself why u think u would feel good at someone else's failure or misery. On further introspection, I realized that what I was feeling was not actually Schadenfreude but, for some absurd reason, the desire to desire seeing someone's downfall but I just couldn't actually feel that. So I'm a sham, a con, a quack and what have u. Basically a Schaden'fraud' :-P

It consumes - the churning

Tick tock in my head

The shame of the spurning

Would that u were dead

It devours - the yearning

I feel so euphoric

At the thought of the burning

Ah! The rhetoric

It is empty, I'm learning

A killer I'm not

And I do feel the turning

Away from this rot

If it were about earning

I should like to see

You crashing and burning

But no, that's not me.