Kill You, Kill Me

As anybody who has been nutty enough to follow my blog would know, I have weird dreams, often morbid in fact. I think I have surpassed all previous levels of weirdness with this particular poem and strangely - it wasn't under the influence of any inebriating substances. Probably some latent effect of some movie or book I once saw or read. I doubt Lionel Richie would appreciate my adaptation of one of his song titles (interestingly though Say you, say me also references a dream - though naturally a far less morbid one!). I will pull the poetic license card at this point - but please read at your own peril!

Right foot forward - left soon follows

Repeat, repeat - till I turn the corner

There you stand, smiling your smile

You don't know yet you're soon a goner

Right and left bring me close as can be

Bodies connect, cheeks flush and eyes meet

I put one arm around and pull your body in tight

And the knife in the other, slides in so sweet

I watch as the life leaves your lying eyes

Your blood washes over my hand like sweet honey

I showed mercy for I can't cause that much pain

Even after all that you did - now isn't that funny?

Slowly I pull the knife out of your gut

A gurgling sound you make as you fall

With a soft thud, you lie at my feet in blood

I gaze upon you, the red floor and white walls

The walls seem so odd - I think to myself

They need some colour to really fit in

Ever obliging, I smile to myself

A quick slash and they're crimson - I'm finally done in

The Midnight Sun

Black velvet - look where I will 
Never a sliver of light. 
Black got blacker and blacker still 
Life - an endless night 
Memories of sun are vague yet fond. 
When night would pass and day would dawn. 

Black then found a friend in me 
And I - too weak to resist 
Blackened through my life would be 
The sun was always missed. 
It took over slow - one man at a time. 
And I learned then that black was mine. 

Black is my parent, my lover, my life. 
The only one that remains. 
Black is the colour of every knife 
They swung to cause my pains. 
With every stab, some hope would die 
I knew the sun had become a lie. 

Till you burst forth in a brilliant blaze 
Lightness and brightness and happiness is me. 
I feel so blessed - for on the sun I gaze 
I'm laughing and smiling now - can't you see??? 
It's midnight yet now I see the sun! 
Don't take that away - you are the one. 

Schaden'fraud'

Lately I had been feeling consumed by a wave of Schadenfreude and this was unnerving me because it made me feel evil. Besides, it's hard to justify to yourself why u think u would feel good at someone else's failure or misery. On further introspection, I realized that what I was feeling was not actually Schadenfreude but, for some absurd reason, the desire to desire seeing someone's downfall but I just couldn't actually feel that. So I'm a sham, a con, a quack and what have u. Basically a Schaden'fraud' :-P

It consumes - the churning

Tick tock in my head

The shame of the spurning

Would that u were dead

It devours - the yearning

I feel so euphoric

At the thought of the burning

Ah! The rhetoric

It is empty, I'm learning

A killer I'm not

And I do feel the turning

Away from this rot

If it were about earning

I should like to see

You crashing and burning

But no, that's not me.